A little back story. In case you did not read the tabs in sequence or missed the early years .. my dad was about the LAST person anyone would expect to become a Christian. He openly bashed those who were faithful, made a mockery of people he labeled 'Jesus freaks' and he never attended church with us even on Easter or Christmas Day. He was well versed in profanities, was racist and a sexist. Then he was changed.
At first I had a hard time believing any of it. The man I once knew had gone and in his place was a more loving and compassionate man. The phrase too good to be true ... well that is exactly what I thought had happened. I turned into the one who was skeptical and critical. His light was exposing a darkness I did not feel comfortable revealing. I chalked it up to a mid-life sort of thing and figured his old self would again return. But it didn't.
Father's Day 2006 was a day I will never forget. I was home from work in the city to visit my dad on the farm. His one wish for Father's Day was that I attend church with him. I was my usual skeptical self but agreed as it was his day. I told him not to expect much ... but what I did not expect was what would happen to me. This was a church unlike any I had known growing up. The music was upbeat and lively. A woman in front of me was lifting her arms which at the time I thought to be a bit silly and over the top. The pastor seemed full of life and was actually refreshing to listen to. That morning the message was geared toward fathers and I could clearly see my dad tearing up. It was no secret to him or I he had not been a good father. It was clear we both needed the message as I found myself drawn toward hearing more. Then fathers were asked to stand. My dad stood up, we were told to place hands on the fathers for prayer. As the prayer continued I felt a change begin. I felt a love I had NEVER felt before. It was warm, deep and inviting!! Right there I told God in my head that I was ready. The change began.
I prayed as a sinner needing grace. I believed Jesus came into this world, lived a perfect life and died for our sins. In my heart I knew He rose again, that He was real and a part of our lives. That He saved us from death and gave us eternal life! I turned away from my past and turned it over to God. I repented and began to walk in a new direction. Free at last. And loved ... though I realized I had been all along.My relationships with my family strengthened and grew because of my ability to begin the process of forgiveness. Forgiving them and forgiving myself through the power of the Lord.
Only mere weeks after accepting Jesus Christ into my life I would meet someone face to face I had talked to online for about 2 months. We were about an hour and a half apart yet on a Tuesday night we decided to drive until we ran into each other. Our paths crossed at a Denny's Restaurant where we would be inseparable for the next 2 hours. There was something different about him. He was honest, he was caring, he was genuine and he was the first Christian man I had ever met. Both of us returned home around 1:30am and we both had to work the next day. Though the excitement and joy from that meeting carried me right into work a bit early, glowing. I told my co-worker I was going to marry this man. And I was right.
Our first daughter arrived in April of 2007. She was a absolute joy, a miracle and a blessing. She lit up both our lives in such a unique and life changing way. We were smitten with this tiny little person. When she was 6 months old we realized we were fertile, after the fact. In an act of reverting to old habits, I rushed out to get Plan B pill and took both as instructed within 48 hours of intercourse. We laid in bed that night and I began to weep. I asked my husband to pray for us. I was so new in my faith, so scared and I had yet to develop a true relationship with our Savior. My husband prayed for forgiveness and that God's will be done. I was scared to death. I was regretful. I had come SO far yet I slipped right back into old habits. I wept for another few days. But God's will was done and despite following the instructions for the pill, 9 months later we welcomed our gorgeous daughter into the world in July of 2008. I still chuckle when I think about our youngest, she is such a character and no doubt with a feisty personality like hers, nothing was going to stop her from making her appearance!! Now 5 and 6 I am SO blessed and SO thankful to our great God as He knew best!! The girls are best of friends and have a bond that cannot be broken. They are inseparable and do everything as a duo. I cannot imagine taking that relationship away from either of them.
It's been 6 years since I chose to follow the Lord and not a day goes by where I do not thank Him and praise Him. There have been plenty of storms, but God never promised there would not be storms. He promised He would never forsake us. And for that I am eternally grateful. I grow every single day in my faith and will continue to do so until I leave this earth. I feel His blessing every day when I look into the eyes of my children. I think not of where I have been, but where I can go in service to Him. I reflect upon my decisions along the way and smile as I realize He was right there beside me all along. It was His plan and He knew all my past would bring me to this point ...
Redemption.
My gifts ... Kaylee & Kiera
Your story is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing! Though I have never had abortions, I have lived the struggles you lived in your family life and Jesus has brought redemption and a family to me, too! He's still in the miracle business! Bless you!
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